dirty feet-bring it.

He wants us...all of us...our raw, real selves.
All masks
All pride
All fears
All praise
All doubts
All secret thoughts
All worries
All rejoicing
All heartaches
All pain
All glory
All desires
All searching
All sin
All baggage can be left at the cross He beared...at the feet of Jesus. We don't have to "get it all together" before we come to our Daddy--we bring it to Him...bring it all...drag it there and leave it. We don't have to put on a smile and pretend all is well- we come at our present state.

Before we were born, He knew what trash we would bring to Him and when we would bring it. He knew when we'd be sad and need Him to hold us, He knew when we'd be full of laughter and rejoice with Him.

Life changes...situations change...people change...we change...and the people who we once thought would always be there become only memories- some good, some bad, but all in His brilliant plan. He will never be a memory...He is always new, always fresh, always the same, always there, always waiting, always glorious and always all- knowing. He is eternal.

He is always and He is forever.

lose yourself

And He set me on fire, and I am burning alive.
With His breath in my lungs I am coming undone.
And I cannot hold it in and remain composed.
Love's taken over me and so I propose the letting myself go.
I am letting myself go.
You are my joy.
You are my joy.
You are my joy.
You are my joy.

Lose yourslef and be found.

come away with Me

sweet sweet child, I want to hold you awhile, come away with Me, I know your troubles, I know your mess, I know the words you can't express, I see your doubts, I know your pain but I am the answer that takes it all away- sweet sweet child I want to hold you awhile- come away with Me

whole heart

the center of who you are..where dreams and desires grow...a living Gods home-your heart.

Im finding that it's a daily thing, sometimes an hourly thing, to give my whole heart to Him. Thats the beauty of it all and thats worship. If it was a one time thing...to give Father my whole heart, would i still need Him like I do right now?

"let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith..." Hebrews 10:22

"Now faith is the assurnace of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen" Hebrews 11:1

Faith is giving your whole heart to Father-- that is giving Him all of you...the core of who you are, what you want to be, your dreams, your pain, your fears, your love...

--In doing this you are not lost but found in Him--

im giving You all of me, i want to give all of me

I've found that its just too hard everyday to walk around with a heavy heart but Father wants the burden(s) that come along with giving Him our heart, He wants to carry them. He must carry them. He also put desires inside our heart and wants to work out all the details...He just wants us to seek Him. Freedom is found by giving your whole heart to Him. It's all about Him- if your heart is in his hands then the decisions you make will be from Him...from your heart...isn't that freeing?!?

What is expected of me and things of this world often fill my mind/heart, then an overwelming fear sets in...this is when i am found at the place of surrender and give my whole heart to Him once again, this is when i find peace. It's not a "recommitment" or "rededication" to Jesus...bc He is always commited and dedicated to me...it's a dying to self and letting Him invade every area...it's trading the world's expectations of me for His presence and living through Him...

find me here and speak to me-I want to feel you-I need to hear you-you are the light that's leading me to the place where I find peace again- you are the strength that keeps me walking- you are the hope that keeps me trusting- you are the life to my soul- you are my purpose- you're everything- and how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you- would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
-Lifehouse

Alive

Where do you feel most alive?

"Come to Me all ye who are tired/weary and I will give you rest."

The place of resting in the Lord, the place of doing what He created me to do, the place of being completely myself and not acting how I think I should or only saying "the right thing" but just being me-me in His presence,me in His day by day plan for my life, me in His peace,me in His rest,me in His freedom,me in His promises,me in His beauty, me in His grace...

--"the place" where I feel most alive is in His unconditional love--

I live in Him by loving Him and by showing that unconditional love
...simply the overflow of His love in our hearts can change the world.

"to be completely loved is to be completely known"
...He knew me, with all my flesh and weakness and chose to love me before the foundations of the earth...He created me and chose to make me in His own image...He died an undeserving death for me and chose to give me life...He has written out each day of my life and chose/longs for me to follow His lead...He just asks that I love Him in return and recieve His great love..His unconditional love for me...

"I have found the answer is to love You and be loved by You alone"

"in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us...no things present or things to come, no powers, no height, no depth or anything else in all creation will be able to seperate us from the love of God..." Romans 8 :37-38

this is the picture of His unconditional love for us-- a love that can be seperated by nothing.
soak it up.
rest in it.
receive it.
give it.
breathe it.
dwell in it.
stay there, in His love.
freedom is there.
live in it.
you will be yourself.
you will be alive.

a living dream...

Im sitting in an "internet cafe" AMSTERDAM airport awaiting my flight for Tanzania, AFRICA. Wow---im so tired....the last flight was 8 hours and the next flight is also 8 hrs but im gonna sleep!

I just want to stop right now and say, thank you Lord--Your word says that You will give us the desires of our heart if we TRUST you with everything we've got--Your word is the only word i can depend on Lord, Your word stands strong and your promises are fulfilled...I want to bring Your name and Your Word glory...

He put this dream to go to Africa when i was very little and i am in the midst of living it this very second and words cannot begin to express how excited i am...

ill have more in a couple of weeks when im back! Love you all!

almost there...

Scattered thoughts, comments and other randomness:

• had the longest date of my life today/tonight with a guy named Ralph Brown Draughon AKA the library. . .sat in the same chair for 8 hours (well besides when a.d.d. kicked in and i got to take a fun little trip to the bathroom..along with a few other library adverntures!)ps--special thanks to all who made my library stay more interesting...ahaha!
• i love to watch people. . . to try and figure them out ya know? I find it fun and amuzing, especially since its finals week and the library is so packed. . .there are all kinds of fun ppl. to watch!
• i have had shawn mcdonald's song "take my hand" stuck in my head all day. . .Your what i need and i need to be right by Your side cause i cannot hide, Lord i know that i need You . . .his whole cd is super good-
• leave for Tanzania, AFRICA in less than a month now. . .i'm really excited, but I need alot of prayers. . .our team is working with the Mwika Hope Foundation (a ministry for widows and orphans). . .I am working with the orhpans and out of the 70 children and 36 of them are HIV positive. . .it breaks my heart to know that but it blesses me to know that God is using me to show Himself in a tangible way to these children. . .
• one final down.....4 to go--d d d d dang! i gotta meeting in ATL tomm. for the trip so that will be a good long study break!
• things that i'm looking forward to on tuesday when i'm home:pulling in the drive way, the smell of walking into my house, the huge hug from my mama everytime she see's me, running to the backyard to get jumped all over by my basset hound Minnie, laughing a ridiculous amount (about something nobody else would get) with my brother, "boy talk" with my 13 year old sister, the 5 minute drive to see my mimi and grandaddy, either a home cooked meal or japanese (we tend to eat one or the other-ha), then falling asleep in my own soft bed (the same one ive had my whole life) while looking up at the tacky glow in the dark stars i put on my ceiling a long time ago! I love being surrounded by people, family that know me better than anyone. . .have seen me at my best and worse. . . .but also choose to love me like crazy!
• took a whole role of black and white pics today for Christy. . .it was alot of fun. . .hope they turn out good for her. . .i miss taking pics
• well, its 1:30. . . and all this studying has worn me out. . .goodnight and sweetdreams! (or goodmorning, or it might be good afternoon for you, whatev...good something- ha)